Fog, confusion, grief, questions, anger, love, support, family, tears, hope, sadness, fatigue and so many other words.
Let me just say that the memorial service for my nephew was... SO good. It was heart-rending but it was good. The pastor spoke from God's Word and gave us a sense of hope all the while comforting us and helping us to laugh even just a little bit. We watched a slide show of Andrew which truly showed his LIFE and had some great Newsboys music in the background. It made us smile. Then my brother got up and talked about his son and about God's love for each and every one of us. He read from Romans 8 while his wife (my wonderful sister-in-law) stood by his side.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
I am convinced that
neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
He was so full of grace and kindness and concern for all the people there. I've never been more proud of him and humbled at his Christ-likeness. He stood outside the chapel and comforted the many, many (many) people who came to comfort and support him and his family.
I am still full of questions and confusion and, like the rest of the family, will have some things to work through, but I am amazed, thankful and humbled at God's grace in the midst of this very difficult time.